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i wish i could enjoy things like normal people do instead of being upset that i'll never experience them

i don't know if i know what depersonalization is but it might be what i've been feeling

or i'm perfectly fine and i just want people to pity me

and whenever i'm not upsetting someone i'm getting upset envying others for having things i can't and i can't stop myself from being a bad person about it

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i just don't really feel worth anything because all i do here is keep upsetting someone and there'll always be someone better to replace me and whenever i'm gone things will just continue normally so it's hard to feel like staying is a right thing to do like subjecting everyone here to me is not a fair thing

i'm sure turning the volume up on my headphones is bad for my hearing long term but the bass vibrations are so good...

i ask because lately i feel like i've been upsetting a lot of people and i want to know what to do not to upset anyone anymore

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when you decide you feel uncomfortable about someone following you do you let them know you're softblocking them or do you do so quietly

this is not a subtoot i want to know what people expect from me

i'm already nuts deep* into studying operating systems about process scheduling and memory allocation i don't need to distract myself with more useless compsci theory right now

*IT'S A SQUIRREL THING GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER

am i a fake geek girl if i don't understand big o notation

phone update: parents decided to buy me a new one, so i already have a replacement

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Computer Fairies

Computer Fairies is a Mastodon instance that aims to be as queer, friendly and furry as possible. We welcome all kinds of computer fairies!