Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@squirrel also if you like booze reviews his brother's channel is pretty good too https://www.youtube.com/user/ralfystuff

@KitRedgrave@glitch.social you owe me a larger infinity dollars

@8bits@framapiaf.org YOU OWE ME 8 MILLION!

someone: the truth always lies in the middle
me: you owe me 2 million dollars
someone: wha? no
me: as the truth lies in the middle, you owe me 1 million dollars, money please.

@Sir_Boops well of course jet fuel can't

but all that chemtrail stuff in the planes, who knows what temperature that burns at!

@zeezeemoomoo you know what they say

red sky at night, barn's on fire
red sky in the morning, barn's still on fire

@noelle what if: the witches asking for kids are doing the kids a favour

The kind of people who'd flog their child for a bottle of minor magics probably wouldn't be very good parents

@tinker "bespoke"?

Is that what we're calling solutions bodged together with whatever's nearby these days?

The Los Angeles Times is now unavailable in Europe because of GDPR

...

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK WERE THEY DOING WITH BROWSING DATA THAT MEANT THEY COULDN'T JUST CHANGE A COUPLE OF LINES IN THE PRIVACY POLICY TO BE IN COMPLIANCE?!?

@synaesthetica@mastodon.social don't forget cheesemonger and costermonger!

Although sadly it's still "butcher" rather than "meatmonger"

This "tiny house" trend is just getting silly

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/scientists-have-built-worlds-smallest-house-180969149/

Quitting smoking status:

One month in, have managed to reduce my intake to less than half of what I used to smoke

Hopefully I'll be able to kick the rest soon, but even if not cutting out half is fairly decent

It is now Towel Day

Are you a hoopy frood who really knows where their towel is?

If you're considering putting together a hadoop cluster to do stuff to things, maybe make sure it's not 235 times faster to just throw it through awk

https://adamdrake.com/command-line-tools-can-be-235x-faster-than-your-hadoop-cluster.html

@noelle can't say I have, probably spewing some hateful bullshit or other if her track record is anything to go by

@noelle that single video tells you absolutely everything you need to know about katie hopkins

@noelle it's well known that cats just phase in and out of the cat dimension

@gemlog you mean like this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmMg5UT3C1M