Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

YARR! IT BE TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY ME HEARTIES

E'en though this accent only be associated wi' pirates 'cause Robert Newton decide t' use it in film an' it really be wes' coun'ry farmerrr

@maple soff nice bunny

@maple also if the main complaint is mastodon not being comfy and fluffy enough!

Since all the gun people keep insisting that "the right to keep and bear arms shall not be restricted in any way whatsoever because a 200 year old piece of paper says so"...

constitution doesn't say anything about bullets does it?

@Nerts you have got to be kidding me

@maple we all love you too!

fantastic beeps and where to find them

name for @maple's album of potterverse related music

@maple also fantastic beeps and boops

@maple nice and soff

@Jo "we don't want to interrupt you" WITH THIS MASSIVE WALL OF TEXT INSTEAD OF THE ARTICLE YOU WANTED TO SEE

With brexit being a bit of a shambles, the south west has decided to secede from the UK

All rise for the south west national anthem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6V2TxJJ_bI

okay, yeah, definitely have to move the opening time for the hedgehog cafe to half seven

had two of them queuing up outside!

gofundme to send @maple and I to SPACE so we can bartend on the ISS

@maple I wanna be an octopus bartender in a space station

we should open a bar in SPAAAAAACE

@maple I think I used that once

@djsundog to avoid duplication there're already x-prizes for super good telepresence and "fuck earth, i'mma live on the moon" so we don't need to cover those

Instead of bullshit terms like "light vanilla" makeup should be sold by CMYK values to make everything easier

Thus spake the octopus

@SuricrasiaOnline although thinking about it it's pigment rather than light, so CMYK would be more appropriate

they don't do that either though

@SuricrasiaOnline probably but unfortunately makeup isn't sold in rgb values

would be kickass if it was though

@maple I wish I could show you how the rest of us see you