Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@HTHR@cybre.space bonus points if you put them on there in an obscure dialect so they have to spend a while deciphering it before they can read the punchlines

I am now full of chutneys, pickles, salami, and bread

@Elizafox Oh yeah, since you're Emperor now people'll be sending you petitions

Upside, you can issue edicts now!

Petition to @Elizafox Emperor of the US and Protector of Mexico

Whereas, the Web in its current state is barely usable on low-spec hardware, slow data connections, and low bandwidth caps

Understanding, that web developers seem unaware of the problem due to having good connections and high-end machines

Proposes, that all web developers are to have their Macbook Pros replaced by Raspberry Pi Zeroes and their WiFi with 56kbps modems until such time that they learn how to optimise their shit

@Elizafox Vague religious-sounding ramblings as the base of core decisions?

Yep, seems on-brand to me

@squirrel I'm pretty sure thinkpads are just magic

@Elizafox push that shit until it stops being funny to you

@Elizafox Fuck it, I'll treat it as legit, you are now officially the Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico as confirmed by some brit on the internet

@Elizafox ALL HAIL DISCORDIA

@kaniini because terminator 2 made a lot of money

@Elizafox YOU DID IT! YOU WON ED!

@bea Personally I don't really have gender as any part of my core identity, it's more like "I am a sentient entity and I guess I fit in that box there if you want to classify me by that"

Doesn't help that "masculinity" and "femininity" are such poorly-defined concepts

Humanity, if you're going to create a social construct it wouldn't kill you to document that shit properly for those of us who turned up late to the party

Okay, so, I generally reevaluate my starting assumptions every so often

One of the things I was double-checking this time around was "What gender are you"

My usual answer is "A bloke I guess, haven't thought about it", which isn't really an answer but more of a "dunno"

So, after research (which may have included googling "just what is this gender shit anyway") and a reasonable amount of introspection, looks like I may be classified closer to non-binary

So, uh, that may be a thing

@Elizafox I think people are just setting the bar lower now

@jk ask them for examples and see if they give you their credit card info

@squirrel HI SQUIRREL!

@Elizafox @sydneyfalk Hey, imagine how puritan some areas would be if we hadn't sent a bunch of criminals over to balance it out a bit

Just didn't manage to send enough over is all