Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

SCP 4124:

Object Class: Safe

Containment Procedures:
To be held in standard humanoid containment cell

Description:
SCP presents as a human male in all ways apart from its anomalous ability

SCP is to be referred to as @jk

When the SCP enters an excited state it will begin throwing chickens in random directions while yelling "LOOK AT MY CLUCKERS"

It is currently unknown where the chickens come from but data suggests they emerge from a portal the SCP creates to the elemental plane of chickens

@masklayer Knowing you I'm not sure which way to parse that

If bad, no you don't, you're cool

If lewd, yep, we were all fairly aware of that already

@noelle @squirrel very much agreed

@jeff Content really depends on who you follow, but I've noticed a lot more people posting neat things here than twitter

Also, low, low volume of life sucking threads, and those that are are usually behind a content warning so you can decide not to look at them

@HTHR@cybre.space I'll infiltrate the graveyard in the dead of night with a crew of covert stonemasons carrying silenced chisels to quietly correct all the headstones

My thoughts on encrypting personal data:

If the NSA or GCHQ want my data, I'm gonna mildly inconvenience the fuck outta them

@vantablack that's bullshit, people should be able to wear bananas anywhere they like

Put on my blue jean shorts
And I boarded the plane
Touched down in the land of the furry sharks
In the middle of the pouring rain
Oh dear gargamel, won't you look down over me
Yeah, I got a first class ticket
But I'm as blue as a boy can be

Then I'm walking in Bemphis
Walking with my paws next door to the eels
Walking in Bemphis
But do I really feel the way I feel?

@jessiscah24 I do not want to know the context for that

Hm, we are going dark today

Also, is it slander or libel if it's written down? I think I might have to know that if Roy Moore's lawyer calls