Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@garbados farming you say?

Allow me to introduce you to The Wurzels

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tb63PdPweDc

for anyone wondering what happens now, we have no fucking idea either

@maple sooooo fuzzzzy! *many many pets*

@starwall are we starting the Þ meme again?

I Þought we got Þat out of out systems but we could start it again

We all knew that Omega were going to be doing something for the 50th anniversary of Apollo 11

Turns out what they're doing is a SOLID GOLD SPEEDMASTER

https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/omega-speedmaster-apollo-11-anniversary-limited-edition-introducing

@Nine it me!

oh wait, that'd be poly-arm-ery

Dialogue fragment that just popped into my head:

"You better give me some good news before I Marie Kondo your ass"

@sydneyfalk Linus is stored under the blanket

thonkpad

@SuricrasiaOnline you can now buy tickets to go play with 999

@SuricrasiaOnline all containment cells are made of paper stapled to wooden frames

the foundation hopes none of the SCPs notice

toad in the hole: involves neither toads nor holes

all of my toots here are public domain

not that you'd want to use any of it for anything but you could

@sydneyfalk @garbados they should totally have got you to write the restarted x-files series

@johnrandom yes he is!

no guarantees they'll survive on the surface though

or the landing

or the space bit

or the take-off

but he is definitely going to throw people('s bodies) in the general direction of mars because he's loaded and has a bunch of people that'll put up with his bullshit

"Russian ship with 'vomit weapon' spotted off Scottish coast"

https://www.scotsman.com/news/politics/russian-ship-with-vomit-weapon-spotted-off-scottish-coast-1-4884619

Looks like they're starting to weaponise the pee-pee tape

@cassolotl wear it as a scarf!

Tell the postman where you want to go and they'll have to give you a lift!

@tom nope, wrong, we're exiling you

@LaserScheme I want stories about philosopher werewolves

WHYWOLVES!