Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

Moments in watchmaking

[interior, Rolex offices]
Boss: we need to add some sort of superlative-type adjective to "chronometer" on our watches to show that they exceed that certification, I want you to come up with one
Designer1: sure thing boss
[boss leaves the room]
Designer2: so, just slap "superlative" on the dial?
Designer1: fuck it, that'll do. lunch?

@maple ah, that sounds not my sort of thing at all

I don't know what a "petscop" is and at this point I'm almost afraid to ask

With spring officially sprung and all the hedgehogs coming out of hibernation I wrote a thing about how to help them out

https://samtheoctopus.neocities.org/hedgehogs.txt

@scoots HAPPY BIRFDAY! 🎉

@maple oh dear, what have you done now?

Happy Easter to all my bun friends! 🎉

Also non-bun friends, but especially bun friends!

@Jo I'll admit that even though I'm "English As Fuck" I still prefer ISO 8601

@maple we all love you too bun

@LaserScheme I'm not sure what any of us expected

@maple who?

J. Robert Oppenheimer invented the "Atomic Martini"

According to bartending legend, he hid a bottle of Vermouth in the Trinity nuclear test, thereby ensuring that, when the device exploded, the particles of vermouth were spread across the atmosphere of Earth

The recipe for an Atomic Martini is to add gin to a glass, wave it outside for a bit so to add the correct amount of vermouth from the atmosphere, and then it's ready to drink

I'm just wondering when I get the singing voice

'cause at the moment I can't sing for shit

The other day when I was cleaning up after the hedgies (mucky lil buggers they are, spreading their food everywhere, but I love 'em) a pigeon came to the bird feeder right next to me for some food and to say hello

I think I'm turning into a disney princess

@maple it's still really nice to see them all snuffling along though, just balancing their comfort with my desire to cuddle the cute lil critters

now if they wandered up to me you bet I'm gonna pet 'em

@maple I'd love to but they're properly wild animals and it would only distress them