Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@noelle I have actually been argued with when I've said that militaries have "killing people and breaking things" as one of their core job roles

Still don't know what they think all those guns and bombs are for

Apparently the number of "Extinction Rebellion" arrests has reached 1,065

Have they tried like, not getting arrested?

I mean, shit, 1,000 people is more than enough to build some makeshift barriers that would be a bitch to move and would let them just leave it there and not stick around waiting to get nicked

@bonzoesc they do in fact shuffle along surprisingly fast

Live in an area with hedgehogs and want to help them out?

I wrote a brief thing on how to make them more comfy in your garden

https://samtheoctopus.neocities.org/hedgehogs.txt

Moments in watchmaking

[interior, Rolex offices]
Boss: we need to add some sort of superlative-type adjective to "chronometer" on our watches to show that they exceed that certification, I want you to come up with one
Designer1: sure thing boss
[boss leaves the room]
Designer2: so, just slap "superlative" on the dial?
Designer1: fuck it, that'll do. lunch?

@maple ah, that sounds not my sort of thing at all

I don't know what a "petscop" is and at this point I'm almost afraid to ask

With spring officially sprung and all the hedgehogs coming out of hibernation I wrote a thing about how to help them out

https://samtheoctopus.neocities.org/hedgehogs.txt

@scoots HAPPY BIRFDAY! 🎉

@maple oh dear, what have you done now?

Happy Easter to all my bun friends! 🎉

Also non-bun friends, but especially bun friends!

@Jo I'll admit that even though I'm "English As Fuck" I still prefer ISO 8601

@maple we all love you too bun

@LaserScheme I'm not sure what any of us expected

@maple who?

J. Robert Oppenheimer invented the "Atomic Martini"

According to bartending legend, he hid a bottle of Vermouth in the Trinity nuclear test, thereby ensuring that, when the device exploded, the particles of vermouth were spread across the atmosphere of Earth

The recipe for an Atomic Martini is to add gin to a glass, wave it outside for a bit so to add the correct amount of vermouth from the atmosphere, and then it's ready to drink