Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

I could have gone for the world record for shortest ceremony

"Oi, you, you, yer 'itched, 'ave fun"

But nooooooo, apparently Discordianism isn't a "proper" religion

The British government are such killjoys

Not letting me go around officiating weddings

I'm an official POPE goddamnit, I should be allowed to officiate weddings

@cooler_ranch nah, British government are annoying, they won't accept it

I can already do weddings as an official POEE POPE but again, British government don't like it

@cooler_ranch my remit is purely alcohol based

@cooler_ranch (un)fortunately here in the UK you actually have to be a proper priest or something belonging to a proper religion

@cooler_ranch I'd imagine it tasted okay, so assuming it did, by the power vested in me by having previously worked in a bar I hereby dub that drink a NEW FANGLED

@bhtooefr @mallaidh That bit was me making a typo when working it out, you're right, it would be 92 cards total

We were both wrong!

@cooler_ranch that's an awful lot more than 50% of the ingredients you switched

@mallaidh if you use IBM 80 column punch cards in binary mode you can squeeze 860 bits onto one of them

So you could do it in 103

@colon_three I always thought it was a furry smol enough to mail themselves places

@cooler_ranch ...how do you change 50% of the ingredients of an old fashioned?

It's literally just sugar, bitters, and bourbon

@chr@cybre.space you rang?

England: You name it, we'll chuck it in a jar of vinegar and eat it a couple of months later

@noelle @squirrel @Vann@glitch.social oh thank god, I thought it was actual cheese

@squirrel @noelle @Vann@glitch.social well, I'm a brit, I can't really judge you for eating anything that's pickled

@squirrel @noelle @Vann@glitch.social no! bad squirrel!

Maybe I can let you do it to the french cheeses but not the cheddar!

@noelle @Vann@glitch.social @squirrel *walks over to the fridge* *cuddles the cheddar* it's okay friend, I won't let the strange squirrel cover you in candy

@squirrel @Vann@glitch.social @noelle it's sacrilege! it's an abomination!

@squirrel @Vann@glitch.social @noelle but... it's... candy! filled with... cheese!?!?!