Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

H. Moser & Cie. are at it again

They're masters at taking the piss and this time it's basically the entire Swiss watch industry that are the target

https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/h-moser-swiss-icons-watch-introducing

This is after them previously taking the piss out of the iWatch ( https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/moser-swiss-alp-watch-s-introducing ) and basically everything ( https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/h-moser-swiss-mad-watch-swiss-cheese-limited-edition-venturer-introducing )

Yes, the case of that second one is made out of cheese

LB: I seriously can't tell if this is a joke or not

Cryptocurrencies are beyond satire

@squirrel I will cuddle any and all emotional robots

(if they want to be cuddled, if they don't, I won't)

Holy crap

https://melv1n.com/iphone-performance-benchmarks-after-spectre-update/

Up to 50% performance drop on iphones after the spectre security patch

Not content with taking over every other industry, robots are coming for the stripping jobs

https://twitter.com/TaylorLorenz/status/950587082388406272

Basically variations on this are why I shouldn't ever look at what's on aliexpress

If I had the money just about everyone I know would be receiving shipping containers of increasingly strange things

Me: Hello $bank, I'd like a loan of $largeSumOfMoney please

Bank: Why do you want the loan?

Me: I want to send a shipping container full of implausibly large squirrel plushies to a squirrel just to see the inevitably hilarious look on her face when it arrives

Bank: no.

@squirrel I'd buy you them, but I don't have that much money and it would be a really interesting conversation with the bank

Bank: You're massively overdrawn on your account, why?
Me: I had to send 100, 1 metre tall plush squirrels to a robosquirbun half way around the world from me
Bank: wut?

@squirrel if you want definitely plushie ones then the best I've found is a metre tall https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/wholesale-Bedtime-Originals-Lavender-Woods-Plush_60552810960.html?

Minimum order quantity of 100 though

Then again, who wouldn't want 100 cute squirrels?

@SuricrasiaOnline signed

Hm... it's inflatable rather than a plushie but I'm sure it could be filled with polyfill

@squirrel, I think my mission is complete https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/3M-Pvc-Giant-Inflatable-Squirrel-Outside_60551132976.html?

Yes, that's a 3 metre tall inflatable squirrel

@Vann@glitch.social they say that everybody wants to be a cat