Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.

The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor.

The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner.

Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.

Oh hey, this is neat, G-SHOCK are doing a collab with Gorrilaz

https://www.gshock.com/watches/gorillaz-watches

4 limited edition watches (1000 of each worldwide), prices from $120-170

If you're in the USA and eligible to vote then go out and vote on Tuesday

Is it going to stop the march of fascism? No, but it will mildly annoy them so take five minutes out of your schedule and put some little marks in boxes

The nazis will still be available for you to punch later

@maple has a turbo button that speeds her up and turns her into turbo outbun

oh climate change isn't a big deal, once the humans go extinct the octopus shall inherit the earth! MUAHAHAHAHA

"uh, sam, they're acidifying the oceans as well"

...FUCK

Convicted for Handling Salmon in Suspicious Circumstances

actually maybe rescind that "unpaid" bit, they did send me a very nice bag of swag as an apology for their mistake

If you're in the UK and in the market for a watch have a look at what Page and Cooper have and maybe buy from them

Their customer service is really quite good

Had a small problem on an order I made but they fixed it up nice and quickly with the minimum of fuss

the fediverse is not a big truck, it's a series of cubes

seriously what the fuck fediverse

Damn, I was at the supermarket earlier and completely forgot to get myself a caterpillar cake

I used to work as a bartender, which meant that when it was 00:01 on my birthday my boss told me "you're off shift, go get drunk"

This is a habit I've continued to this day

Ah, that's probably more bourbon than was entirely necessary for my birthday, I should probably drink a fair amount of water now

only on the fediverse could we refer to our gender as HTTP status codes and still be completely understood

The America's Cup is a really weird event

It's a sailing race

Where the previous year's winner decides all the rules for the current year

This results in some seriously crazy shit

All these first- and third-person shooters around

Someone make a second-person shooter