Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

ENGLAND: literally the only country where, when given large amounts of opiates, we think to ourselves "let's trade all this for tea"

I personally think that the Ladies' Watch prize should have gone to Moritz Grossman, Men's Watch to Vacheron Constantin, Men's Complication to H. Moser et Cie., Jewellery Watch to Bvlgari, and Artistic Crafts to Vacheron Constantin but I'm not on the judging panel

The winners of the 2018 Grand Prix d'Horlogerie de Genève were announced today, the Aiguille d'Or winner was the Bovet Récital 22 Grand Récital (pictured below)

All the other winners are listed here: https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/the-bovet-recital-22-grand-recital-takes-home-the-aiguille-dor-at-the-2018-gpgh-awards

Keep an eye out when you're in Tesco, they've started selling 50cl bottles of wine with verrry small labels saying they're not proper wine bottle size, you might get caught out if you're not careful

If you're operating a car, don't tailgate the car in front like a bastard

Thus spake the octopus

https://www.theneweuropean.co.uk/top-stories/dominc-raab-i-had-not-quite-understood-importance-of-dover-calais-crossing-1-5769678

Man in charge of brexit shocked to discover that England is on a fucking island

im OCTOPUS!

My sister has somehow managed to get a second degree burn from a hot water bottle

She's absolutely fine but how the hell do you get a second degree burn from a hot water bottle of all things?

Even the burns consultant hadn't seen any injuries like that from a hot water bottle before

I'm pretty sure at this point that I've alienated the right-wing enough that if I tell people to go vote then they're going to decide not to out of pure spite leaving only people who'd vote democrat

If that's not the case then free abortions for everyone, healthcare is a human right, violence is a perfectly fine way to fight nazis, and Reagan can suck it

Go vote

New antifa meta is gritty flinging weaponised potatoes at nazis

Oh, apparently gab is back

at least now the nazi dickmackerels that migrated over here to the fediverse can fuck off back there now I suppose

And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

BADUM TSH

The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.

The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.

The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor.