Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

hey emojo consortium, zero width joiners to have emojos driving vehicle emojos please

Present wrapping tip: save money, time, and effort by wrapping gifts to people in brown paper no matter what the occasion

You don't have to go and buy <event> themed wrapping paper, it's cheap, thicker than the standard wrapping paper, more forgiving when you mess up, and it comes in massive rolls so one order will get you enough paper for the next decade

Also if you use it with brown masking tape and brown card labels it looks like you're going for a theme rather than just being a lazy sod

As far as we're aware eugen hasn't sent any of his own hair to a rapper in order for them to make him a protective amulet so... uh... guess that goes in the Twitter/Mastodon comparison lists

"Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey sent beard shavings to Azealia Banks so she could make an amulet to protect him from ISIS"

https://www.nme.com/news/music/twitter-ceo-jack-dorsey-sent-beard-shavings-to-azealia-banks-so-she-could-make-an-amulet-to-protect-him-from-isis-2422543

This is an article that exists

Because of course that fucking happened

no, wait, I was wrong, it's 300 of them, 60 per metre

600x 5050 SMD LEDs are quite bright

and on the nth day, sam put a shitload of LED lights in their dad's new shed, and you could see bloody everything

@maple is mayor of computerfairi.es

...

mayorple!

I propose #mapleMonday

a day of the week on which we all love and appreciate @maple a little louder than we usually do

virtually no british person can remember the words to the national anthem

we can all, however, remember the entirety of Mr. Brightside by The Killers

I'm not entirely sure what that says about us

is "can this be used to deliver weed" the logistics equivalent of the tech world's "can this be used to view porn"?

I installed some electric sockets today and didn't even get shocked!

I'm getting okay at this practical stuff

"NSFW" isn't the best thing to use as a content warning as it's overly broad, being a little more specific is good

Unless you're tooting stuff that would get you in trouble with the Health and Safety Executive, then NSFW covers it nicely

TROUT
TROUT
SWIMMING ABOUT
THESE ARE THE FISH THAT I'M SINGING ABOUT
COME ON
I'M SINGING 'BOUT FISH
COME ON

For people that say "We must secure a future for white children" the alt-right are really doing fuck-all about global warming

Fucking recycle you nazi dickheads

Also die in a fire

Maybe not a fire because of the carbon emissions, die in an ecologically friendly way

While Italian antipasti is all the rage, one should be incredibly careful about handling it in Cornwall

It's a well understood fact that when antipasti and pasty collide they annihilate each other and release a cataclysmic amount of energy

there's a furlongs per fortnite joke somewhere but I can't quite find it