Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

it's been many years since I last used a sewing machine but it seems I've remembered enough to make a rough but perfectly serviceable peg bag for the washing line

yay!

has anyone seen my sleep pattern? it's wandered off somewhere

mac and cheese: made with REAL apple macintoshes!

there was a programme on channel 5 all about hedgehogs and looking after them and I want to hug all the hedgehogs

the computer fairies disaster recovery plan is to load all the backups onto @maple and run things from there until we get a new server

it's hamlet

Hey @Gargron would you like to comment on the whole purism thing considering you're doing work for them?

If Purism actually believes they're morally right in publishing everything no moderation whatsoever would they get mad at me for broadcasting poorly written, exceedingly graphic erotica featuring all of their mothers?

I mean, I'd just be facilitating those frozen peaches, they couldn't possibly be mad at me spreading stories about Mrs. Weaver's escapades with a marrow plant and a 55 gallon drum of personal lubricant

Tom Ford is also trying to flog watches with what looks like an undecorated ETA 2824-2 or Sellita SW200 for over two thousand US dollars so screw that noise

7. Complicated watches are fun, Tom, fuck off
8. If it's leather then yeah, try to match colours
9. Wear whatever strap you like
10. Wear a NATO strap whenever you like, if it's a dress watch maybe go for a seatbelt weave one
11. I refer you to my answer to 2.
12. Don't be such a snob, quartz watches are still good
13. yeah, fine
14. what the fuck Tom?

2/2

Tom Ford did a thing with GQ on "the rules to wearing watches" so of course I have to respond to it

https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/tom-ford-rules-for-watches-2019

1. I've never owned a full-length mirror in my life, don't worry about it
2. Pictured below is Buzz Aldrin wearing 3 watches at the same time, Tom I fucking dare you to tell me Buzz Aldrin doesn't look baller as fuck
3. Okay, yeah, good rule
4. Go for it
5. yeah, match your metals in jewellery
6. I'm not going to argue with James Fucking Bond

1/2

UK telephone numbers are a mess

The area code is 4 digits, except when it's 2, 3, or 5

The customer number is 6 digits long, except when they're anything from 4 to 8

And the total length of a phone number is 10 digits, except when it's 9

how on earth did churches win out in popularity over henges?

you're always hearing about churches fundraising for repairs for the roof or whatever, don't get that problem with henges, henges don't need any maintenance at all when you've built 'em

can't beat a good henge

a small @maple shaped board game piece is called a beeple

hedgehogs seemed to enjoy the new addition!

also got the blackbird seal of approval!

because the hedgehogs were piling up at the cafe and it was stressing them out a bit I built them an addition

birb.

three hedgie queue to get in to the cafe

I'd make the doors bigger but then the cats/foxes/birds would keep raiding it and leave no food for the hedgehogs so they're going to have to learn to queue up nicely