Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es
- Pronouns
- They/Them
- Species
- Octopus
- Status
- Wiggly
- Gender
- 418 I'm a teapot
Admin
Hedgehog wrangler, cat feeder, octopus whomst love smol critters
"i never thought someone could be such a watch nerd and yet here you are" ~ @maple
Joined Oct 2017
Shakespeare's plays were intended to be and were drama for the common people of the time
Therefore the closest analogue to Shakespeare in modern times is the soap opera
This leaves the possibility that in a few hundred years people will be quoting Dot Cotton from EastEnders in an attempt to sound clever
Sam the Octopus
boosted
Flying squirrels glow pink under UV! Squirrel furries get on this!
terrible pun
I've just seen a toilet seat with a cow painted on it
I guess it's for bowel moovements
Sam the Octopus
boosted
*me, throwin chickens at u* look at my cluckers, look at my cluckers, look at my cluckers, look at my cluckers, look at my cluckers, look at my cluckers, look at my cluckers *throwin so many chickens ur way* look at my cluckers, look at my cluckers, look at my cluckers, look at my cluckers *the chickens are flapping to the ground, kinda agitated, some of them are trying to avoid hitting you* look at my cluckers, look at my cluckers, look at my cluckers, look at my cluckers, look at my cluckers,
Sam the Octopus
boosted
⚠️ new release ⚠️
amiga italo mix [vol. 3]
we're not done yet.
https://soundcloud.com/transbian/amiga-italo-mix-vol-3
https://youtu.be/jr66g48w72A
they used to say that you can't hug your children with nuclear arms
BUT NOW YOU CAN!
Come on down to sam's radioisotope-powered prosthetic emporium!
"We want a 100kt atomic bomb"
"What!? I don't sell weapons!"
"Your ad says you're a nuclear arms dealer!"
*waves around an RTG-powered limb prosthetic*
"I AM! JUST NOT THAT KIND!"
Sam the Octopus
boosted
dj lack education
Sam the Octopus
boosted
Gender? I hardly even knew ‘er!
DIRTY DEEDS
done for surprisingly reasonable prices
(seriously, any time they're out there you can hear them yelling about Thoreau in hedgehog)
(in reality the People's Republic of Hedgehogistan is actually closer to an anarcho-primitivist collective what with their larking around foraging for food and not being concerned with the whole "civilisation" bollocks and therefore doesn't have ministers and stuff, but facebook doesn't need to know that bit)
Due to the recent decision by Facebook to allow outright lies in adverts so long as the person behind them is a politician I am appointing everyone here who wants it as ministers without portfolio for the People's Republic of Hedgehogistan, a completely real country that I in no way just made up
Due to running linux I'll never get pwned on a public unsecured wifi network
Mostly 'cause I can't figure out how to get the wifi driver working
Sam the Octopus
boosted
gamers: “video games don’t cause violence”
me: “check fucning mate” https://www.reddit.com/r/bestoflegaladvice/comments/dg0g9a/laop_wants_a_new_level_to_untitled_goose_game/f37e7oh/
I swear my granddad thinks I'm magic
"Oh hey, I saw a watch on tv the other day, it had a black face and white hands, do you know what it was?"
"...that could be literally anything"
Sam the Octopus
boosted
mastodon is like Sesame street where a muppet announces the word of the day and the whole town loses their shit over it
hey babe, are you today's date? 'cause you're a 2019-10-11
...wait
DJ TELEVISION CAT with DJ MOUSE DEVICE at the LOCATION at THE TIME
- Pronouns
- They/Them
- Species
- Octopus
- Status
- Wiggly
- Gender
- 418 I'm a teapot
Admin
Hedgehog wrangler, cat feeder, octopus whomst love smol critters
"i never thought someone could be such a watch nerd and yet here you are" ~ @maple
Joined Oct 2017
