Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

🦔

HEDGIE BLEP!

getting arrested and needing to pay a fine of no more than £1,000 for BEE CRIMES

driving around in my hovercraft, wanted by the BEE POLICE

Under the Bees Act of 1980, the Environment Secretary may appoint someone to have the power to, at any time, enter your premises, vessel, boat, hovercraft, aircraft, or vehicle of any other description in order to inspect your bees

I am not making that up

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1980/12/contents

With all these new people showing up to the fediverse are we keeping up with giving them their complimentary fursonas and copies of the communist manifesto?

LB: it me

me, sitting on a massive pile of bouillon cubes: What? You told me to put all the money into stocks!

If you get disconnected by a raised structure in a body of water is that connection reset by pier?

The Roman poet Juvenal once said "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"

Tonight it's you! With all new Cops only on Paramount

also a "cruise ship" is quite clearly a boatel

who called them houseboats and not boaterhomes?

The ancient greeks must have been pretty lazy

They believed their gods lived at the top of a very climbable mountain and none of them bothered to go up there to try to say hello

that "fact fiend" channel on youtube certainly knows how to get clicks

latest video title "Wombats can defeat predators by twerking"

...alright, I'm in

I wasn't sure which variant of that joke to go with so y'all got all of them

slide rules that are also slides

"these are really comfy and easy to put on my feet, also they multiply numbers"

slide rules that are also slides

"kuh-CHK and while we're doing the calculations you can see this lovely little villa we passed by on holiday"

slide rules that are also slides

"WHEEEEEEE!!!!! answer's about 5"