Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

A time traveller from the 2000's visits a modern software company

traveller: all your laptops have 32 GB of RAM in them?! Your devs must be doing some really heavy stuff, what the hell do they need all that memory for?

guide: web browsing.

traveller: ...you fukken wat mate?

the spam bots promoting gentlemen's clubs that turn up round here always seem to be promoting gentlemen's clubs in perth

why are they always in perth?

mastodon: the only place I've ever found where you can shit-talk early 20th-century aviation enthusiasts and people know what the hell you're on about

My thing for pilot's watches probably explains why I like the Cartier Santos so much, it's the original pilot's watch

First made by Louis Cartier for Alberto Santos-Dumont who piloted the first plane that could fly under its own power

(The Wright brothers can suck it)

To clarify, the brand is Guinand, with a D at the end

Whoopi Goldberg isn't flogging these out of ten-forward unfortunately

Ooh, this is nice

The new Guinand Starfighter Pilot

Bicompax chrono heavily inspired by the ones Heuer made for the Bundeswehr in the 60's

I'm a sucker for a good pilot's watch, also a sucker for a good German watch, and this is both

yep, he's frothing at the mouth after the lottery decision

I mean, more so than he usually is

Probably going to be quicker to ask who isn't running in the Democratic primary

Biologist: "What systematic name should we give to these large brown mammals?"
Scared intern: "BEAR! BEAR! BEAR!"
Biologist: "Yeah, Ursus Arctos Arctos sounds good"
Scared intern: "THERE'S A BEAR! RUN!"

I love comments about how "white people don't do spices"

Mate, we love spices so much we stole an entire subcontinent!

Brown Sauce: it's made of brown

Trump's really taking this "national emergency" thing seriously, I just heard he spent most of today in a bunker!

...huh?

...oh

apparently I misunderstood, when they said "in a bunker" they meant he was golfing again

Let's see... severe economic problems, worries about nuclear weapons, massive concerns about humanity destroying itself, wars in the middle east...

we're all absolutely sure the 80's actually ended, right?

being on computerfairi.es makes me glad I have so many arms to pet all the buns with

Names for police officers if you ever have to differentiate them for some reason:

Pinky
Perky
Peppa
George
Napoleon
Snowball

first two they might get what you're doing if they're British and old enough, middle two they'll likely get if they're parents, last two they probably won't, pretty sure not many cops have read any Orwell

this is interesting, the new Swatch Flymagic

Uses the new Nivachron hairsprings that the Swatch Group have been developing which are anti-magnetic, anti-shock, and temperature resistant

To put more focus on what they've done with it they reversed the movement in the case to show it off which results in the transparent rotor being above the dial and the seconds hand going backwards

https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/swatch-flymagic-introducing

shiny new odroid SBC thingy

http://linuxgizmos.com/odroid-n2-sbc-has-hexa-core-amlogic-s922x-and-63-to-79-price/

hex-core, 2/4GB RAM, gigabit ethernet

all for $79 for the 4GB RAM version

roses are green
violets are blue
the grass is red...
I'm colourblind aren't I?