Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

gender reveal parties for genderfluid people

like 24/7 partying with gender updates every so often

9 out of 10 dentists agree, yeet the rich

"so what's going on in the fediverse right now?"

...socialist...teeth...?

a portmanteau of "ska punk" is "skunk"

an all-skunk ska punk band

Opossums eating bananas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRIVTEBaLkA

That is all.

it's been however many months and I STILL can't easily acquire a facemask covered in cute little cartoon plague doctors

me, as an army officer:

"we've noticed you're requisitioning a tank for every single operation you're on, despite none of those operations even remotely requiring a tank"

"yep"

"...why?"

"tanks have kettles built in"

"...YOU'RE USING SEVERAL MILLION POUNDS WORTH OF MILITARY HARDWARE JUST SO YOU CAN HAVE A CUP OF TEA?!?"

"yes."

🦔

WD-40 is not a lubricant

personal or otherwise

corcore

which is cockney aesthetic

corecore

having a 2600 emulator and ET on your mobile for when little kids ask you "do you have games on your phone?"

rgb lighting on a typewriter

it went from "ooh, look at my shiny watch that has "true seconds", only proper watchmakers can do that so it's dead fancy" to "oh, is that a cheap quartz? NO! IT'S DIFFERENT DAMNIT" in the space of like, five minutes

A watch complication that used to be far more popular than it is now was the "seconde morte", or "dead seconds"

this was a complication of a mechanical watch where the seconds hand would move only once per second from index to index instead of the usual several times per second

it was one of the casualties of the quartz crisis, once all these cheap quartz watches had hands that ticked at once per second nobody wanted to pay the extra for a mechanical movement that did it

should have posted this yesterday really but here's one of the worst things I've seen

who had kanye running for president on their 2020 bingo card?

"this water is too spicy!"