maple "mavica" syrup [6502] @mavica_again@computerfairi.es

@bri_seven envy and rsd suck. i'll never be free of them and venting is the only solace i have

@bri_seven being adjacent but not part of groups and cliques and just sitting on the outside looking in triggers my rejection sensitivity heavily and i need to carefully curate my feed of most sources of that. which ends up in me isolating myself more, the irony is not lost on me, but it's how i've survived so far.

i don't know what i need exactly. but i know what i missing and i cry about it a lot

@bri_seven fitting in was never so much a goal as it is something i yearn for to be happy with myself

i'm a social creature. i've been left with nothing but my own devices for almost 3 decades. i want to be pestered. i want to be a part of something.

@bri_seven ok but let me tell you just exactly how that picture of you is about to federate...

maybe i just won't fit in no matter what gender or homones i have in my meat shell.

i've been on hrt for 8 years and all i got was this lousy t-shirt. i can't feel like one of the girls and i can't feel like one of the other girls either.

i wish i also felt positive in being trans but for me it's all struggle and little payoff and seeing others celebrate it without me feels very othering

@suricrasia for a place called master dom it sure is full of subs!

@rooster then how come i haven't gotten mine for 8 years now

@arielmt it's cursed. i love it

i've completed the #gameboycamera experience #gbcamera #gameboyprinter #webgbcam

"but it's not a like on my platform, it's labelled favourite instead"

1. that makes no difference in meaning
2. i'm gonna make a fork of mastodon where instead of a star it's a poop emoji and i'm going to start pooping on all of your posts

"everybody uses it this way" is not the gotcha you think it is

make it make sense. you cannot. you lied to yourself for years.

i cannot fathom at all the doublespeak that social media has infested in other people such that the terms and iconography:

• star
• like
• favourite

have no meaning at all rooted in their appearance or original idiom, but instead are used as a rat cage instant gratification such that i am deemed persona non grata for saying "please don't favourite my negative posts"

why should i do anything? why can't you do something else instead? how is that "trying to spread love"? i fucking hate mastodon, man

"you should infer that a favourite is support and not an actual favourite" - person who just blocked me for gently being reminded to not favourite posts about my suicidal tendencies

@sophia81 it may not have federated to your instance, then, because it is there: https://computerfairi.es/@mavica_again/110573733959251340

@sophia81 i wouldn't favourite someone's cry for help. i don't understand the confusion of ideas that would make that make sense to anyone other than some unspoken convention that i never personally agreed to