@bri_seven envy and rsd suck. i'll never be free of them and venting is the only solace i have
@bri_seven being adjacent but not part of groups and cliques and just sitting on the outside looking in triggers my rejection sensitivity heavily and i need to carefully curate my feed of most sources of that. which ends up in me isolating myself more, the irony is not lost on me, but it's how i've survived so far.
i don't know what i need exactly. but i know what i missing and i cry about it a lot
@bri_seven fitting in was never so much a goal as it is something i yearn for to be happy with myself
i'm a social creature. i've been left with nothing but my own devices for almost 3 decades. i want to be pestered. i want to be a part of something.
re: eye contact
@bri_seven ok but let me tell you just exactly how that picture of you is about to federate...
i've been on hrt for 8 years and all i got was this lousy t-shirt. i can't feel like one of the girls and i can't feel like one of the other girls either.
@suricrasia for a place called master dom it sure is full of subs!
@rooster then how come i haven't gotten mine for 8 years now
@arielmt it's cursed. i love it
"but it's not a like on my platform, it's labelled favourite instead"
@crashkeys i can't see which post exactly you're referring to
if it's the vent thread here https://computerfairi.es/@mavica_again/110651882618003036 then yeah sure a like is fine, but honestly i just don't get the appeal of liking things to say "yeah" over actually saying "yeah". a boost would be more meaningful, if you want to broadcast it to others.
i cannot fathom at all the doublespeak that social media has infested in other people such that the terms and iconography:
have no meaning at all rooted in their appearance or original idiom, but instead are used as a rat cage instant gratification such that i am deemed persona non grata for saying "please don't favourite my negative posts"
why should i do anything? why can't you do something else instead? how is that "trying to spread love"? i fucking hate mastodon, man
@sophia81 it may not have federated to your instance, then, because it is there: https://computerfairi.es/@mavica_again/110573733959251340
@sophia81 i wouldn't favourite someone's cry for help. i don't understand the confusion of ideas that would make that make sense to anyone other than some unspoken convention that i never personally agreed to
scourge of the fediverse, retired computer fairies founder (2017-2021), drone #6502, official amiga mascot, begrudgingly making a return to the fediverse to upset those who told us to leave. i've been here longer than you.
https://pronoun.gdn/byte?or=it, robot, check system link above, meat shell is 30yo, no minors thanks
HRT: 15/11/2015
⚠️ do not like or favourite my negative posts: https://computerfairi.es/@mavica_again/110573733959251340 you will be blocked for not following protocol