maple "mavica" syrup [6502] @mavica_again@computerfairi.es

@bri_seven@queer.party ìf you didn't want to get catcalled then why did you transition

in lighter news i'm doing python again (derogatory) (made to sound like a drug) (explicit) (gone sexual) (gone wrong)

@bri_seven@queer.party precisely

@bri_seven@queer.party i'm glad and i'm not dismissing it without a note, but i assure you it will not help me especially presently

@bri_seven@queer.party shows how much i know, i thought it was a tv series.

i don't think i'll watch it. sorry i've had enough of being on the receiving side of it to watch a dramatization even if it has a deeper moral to it

if you get hired as a sysadmin and haven't watched serial experiments lain yet HR forces you to detransition

if you don't have a blåhaj in time for the first pride event after coming out they take away your trans card

@bri_seven@queer.party this is the othering part i meant

i suppose next you'll say i need catgirl programmer socks and a copy of the original c programming language reference

@bri_seven@queer.party the reference is lost on me

@bri_seven@queer.party as an objective baseline i'm happier as a woman too! i guess that's not what i meant.

and trust me i've been trying to build my own spaces for a very long time. i founded this instance 6 years ago.

@bri_seven@queer.party envy and rsd suck. i'll never be free of them and venting is the only solace i have

@bri_seven@queer.party being adjacent but not part of groups and cliques and just sitting on the outside looking in triggers my rejection sensitivity heavily and i need to carefully curate my feed of most sources of that. which ends up in me isolating myself more, the irony is not lost on me, but it's how i've survived so far.

i don't know what i need exactly. but i know what i missing and i cry about it a lot

@bri_seven@queer.party fitting in was never so much a goal as it is something i yearn for to be happy with myself

i'm a social creature. i've been left with nothing but my own devices for almost 3 decades. i want to be pestered. i want to be a part of something.

@bri_seven@queer.party ok but let me tell you just exactly how that picture of you is about to federate...

maybe i just won't fit in no matter what gender or homones i have in my meat shell.

i've been on hrt for 8 years and all i got was this lousy t-shirt. i can't feel like one of the girls and i can't feel like one of the other girls either.

i wish i also felt positive in being trans but for me it's all struggle and little payoff and seeing others celebrate it without me feels very othering

@suricrasia for a place called master dom it sure is full of subs!

@rooster@chaosfem.tw then how come i haven't gotten mine for 8 years now

@arielmt it's cursed. i love it