Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@noelle I'm sure that's the only reason that Trump's legal team don't want him to meet with Mueller, he's completely incapable of not lying

@natalie@masto.ninja does that mean that normal music can be considered nightcore remixes of vapourwave?

@andrew ISO3103 is bullshit, you don't ever put the milk in first and they should be ashamed of themselves for suggesting it

#mastoFeatureRequest

The bit where you write the about/more for an instance should accept markdown or something, updating a blocked instances list on there is more inconvenient than it probably could be

@maple oh bun, didn't you know that the power of my parent jokes are unstoppable?!

@maple hi maple syrup all lowercase!

@colon_three *peter hitting two bits of wood*

STAY JOINED TOGETHER YOU FUCKERS

@trashyfins@chomp.life no, bad dragon

@maple the word "moped" now only means that parody of German dance music legends SCOOTER to me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbKOnmIN0Tg

@softgoat not gonna lie, I'd totally go for those if I didn't have to buy 4 pairs

One's pronouns are they/them/their, dickwad

All these people still not getting the concept of singular "they" despite it being a thing since the 14th century

Let's bring back the royal "one" to really fuck with them

COLOSSUS! I CHOOSE YOU!

What are you talking about Wade?

@Jo I've been very tempted to get a proper heavy duty nail gun but I have a feeling I might go crazy with it and the entire house will just be things haphazardly nailed to other things

Calling it now, deadpool 3 is going to have pokemon references

@maple boop!

@maple 🎶 I say tomato and you say tomato
and wait a second this is text
it really doesn't work 🎶

@maple IT YOU! you're the personal digital assistant!

@TheGibson "OMG WHO'S HACKING OUR NETWORK"

"probably the one over there with the pineapple patch and MOLLE webbing"