Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@maple fresh like a dry-cleaned squobit!

@pixl@snouts.online I require 5 years and a team of nanotech specialists in order to create a violin tiny enough to play just for them

Taking honey from beehives is landlordism

@Lumb also consider: döner party

it's what we call gyros in places with more turks than greeks

Finally the perfect valentine's gift for the capitalist twat in your life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9M79vDyKaG0

(it's a little guillotine made of chocolate)

@archadia@tootplanet.space don't worry about it, I forgot that reference was now old enough to drive

@Anarkat The Prodigy - Firestarter

I forgot that that's now a 20+ year old reference

@archadia@tootplanet.space honestly I just wanted to make the prodigy reference but that also works really well

someone gave me a great tip for easily starting up a charcoal grill

you take some newspaper, roll it up, and cover it in melted wax. then all you have to do is light it and nestle it in to the charcoal, works really well

it's a firestarter

a twisted firestarter

@Gargron entire tory party in my case

@halcy only once, because I'm a baller like that

Huh, apparently all you need for a bunch of white male USAians to give a tiny shit about massive human rights abuses is for a company from that country to give $150 million to reddit

@maple blorb

crochet pirate flags

they're made of yarrrrn

@noelle the Borrowers are baking again

@maple *charges bun with headpats*

@Taweret@octodon.social have you ever seen a software dev have half a dozen monitors on their desk?

it's like that

@evie it's a 5 second mini-trailer for ads and then the full trailer for those that want to see the trailer

they could split those into two videos so people didn't see mini-trailer then full trailer but they don't want to split the view count because youtube algorithm

@cassolotl@queer.party the meds I'm on certainly do the trick

and even if I do have one then the witnesses are lot more concerned than I am

"ARE YOU OKAY?!?!"
"huh? yeah, where's nearest cup of tea?"
"YOU WERE OUT FOR AN HOUR!"
"oh yeah, does that sometimes, again, where's the tea?"