Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

Wanna see what's in a watch?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hSZFO5QUmE

Full disassembly of a Miyota and an ETA watch movement

fun game: try to guess if a toot is from @yubikeybot@masto.ninja or a girl who's just been called cute

"now kid, you have to go to bed early on christmas eve so you get the really good presents, if you go to sleep late then santa won't be able to get to you until later and you'll get the shit presents from the back of the sleigh"

this works on 100% of the children that have been told this

@Jo it's not doing that on tumblr though, that's not allowed any more

@Jo @maple lorge maple trampling around downtown tokyo saying "sorry, didn't see that skyscraper there"

@noelle @InspectorCaracal

@noelle I'm hearing the phrase "2 hour minimum"

All these flavoured gins around recently like "grapefruit and pomelo" flavoured gin

GIN IS MEANT TO TASTE LIKE GIN DAMNIT

@softgoat counterpoint: "hhh im gril" is important content

halp the bunnies are being adorable on my timeline

@noelle well that's a particularly thorny looking expression

@erinbee I'm not sure I can call that the worst thing I've ever seen but it's certainly on the top end of the list

@extinctsnakes@mastodon.social have they specified what size the paper is? if they have, have they specified the units? for example a 3x5 notecard can be 3 metres by 5 metres and still be in the rules

also if you tape the paper into a möbius strip you get twice the space to write stuff but it's still only one side

feel free to ignore all of this advice if your proctor is like, no fun at all

The Gävle Goat has been put up, place your bets now on how long until someone burns it down

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G%C3%A4vle_goat

@penguin42 Palmerston was being a dick and overstepping his bounds

I would like to draw everyone's attention to the only member of the UK government that isn't a complete bastard, Larry

Larry is Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

This is his actual official title

@Jo I mean, I'm not saying you should punch your brother for not immediately providing you with a steak when you ask him for one at eleven at night but I'm not not saying that either