Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

Given Gargamon is trying to think of ways to put together lists of "influential tooters" for some goddamn reason I'd just like to announce to all the companies out there that it's me, the most influential tooter, send me large amounts of swag please

that's how this influencer bollocks works isn't it?

bonus points* if you include cash

*bonus points redeemable for fuck all

@lambdagrrl the hiiiiiiiilllllssss are aliiiivveee.... with the sound of... the ramones?

@maple *appreciates the squirrel*

such a good squirrel

IT'S SQUIRREL APPRECIATION DAY! 🎉

Remember to appreciate yr local squirrels! Like @maple !

@maple oh dear, do I dare wonder what those things are?

@maple I can think of only one possible exception to that rule

@maple *is gently squished, like a big beanbag that can cuddle you*

@maple *really nice multi-limbed octo-hugs*

@kellerfuchs I disagree with the "hot" bit

Unless you're talking about her burning in hell

bluh.

back in the land of the living, I give this particular strain of flu 0/10, don't recommend

Today's vote was the biggest defeat of the government in a vote since Charles I's trial

@Jo @noelle "chin artist" sounds like someone who goes around chinning people

which is like a headbutt, only leading with the chin

wait, does this mean that the staff at the nearest fast food joints to the white house can put "white house chef" on their CVs?

@evie perfect, just like that

@er1n @HTHR@cybre.space hey, Snow Crash was a fun parody of the whole mirrorshades thing

oh god

it was meant as a parody, right?

@noelle which type has rubies on it?

@evie put a screen on each side, one side is all screen, other side has camera stuff and a little screen for selfies or whatever

Brexit: what should have happened

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOEr7kiysrE