Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

I have literally seen panto productions with more genie-looking genies

I've just seen pictures of Will Smith as the genie in Aladdin

What the fuck.

@scarly I'm also a terrible human being

which makes it quite lucky I'm an octopus

@noelle just carrying on the British Isles tradition of naming places after rude stuff

Particularly good examples are Bell End in England, Fannyfield in Scotland, and Tart's Hill in Wales

Ireland get in on it too with the town of Muff

Yes, there is a diving club there

Yes, they do sell "Muff Diving Club" merchandise

@scarly there's a new load of people coming over from twitter maybe? and there's some youtube-related drama or something?

I don't know, some bullshit or other

I love Reggie (the cat that isn't officially ours but is always around here anyway) but he doesn't half weigh a tonne when he's sitting on your lap

none pizza with left twitter?

I've just been reminded of my favourite WWII British officer, Mad Jack Churchill

His wikipedia article is quite the ride

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Churchill

@machado @natecull "Mad Jack Churchill charged the beach with a claymore in WWII"
"okay, that sounds foolhardy but reasonable"
"no, the sword"
"...he was using a sword in WWII?"
"and a longbow"
"wut?"
"and bagpipes"

@gravisultrasound an 80's song about a calculator could not possibly be more on-brand for you

I don't know why but I'm apparently on the mailing list for a member's club in London (a city I don't live in) (also I don't have anywhere near enough money to join a member's club)

all of these events sound like things I'd pay good money to not be forced to go to

@maple fresh like a dry-cleaned squobit!

@pixl@snouts.online I require 5 years and a team of nanotech specialists in order to create a violin tiny enough to play just for them

Taking honey from beehives is landlordism

@Lumb also consider: döner party

it's what we call gyros in places with more turks than greeks

Finally the perfect valentine's gift for the capitalist twat in your life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9M79vDyKaG0

(it's a little guillotine made of chocolate)

@archadia@tootplanet.space don't worry about it, I forgot that reference was now old enough to drive