Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

oh wow, the iwatch has a calculator function now!

how innovative!

*snarks in Casio*

@evie it's a thing in watches, goes back to the 1930's

not overly fond of them myself to be honest

If anyone was wondering if drawing cocks in fields to laugh at people is a recent thing in England, it probably isn't

Cerne Abbas Man is a 55m high chalk figure depicting a man with a prominent erection and brandishing a club and is theorised to have been constructed in the 17th century to annoy Cromwell

Picture below, not really lewd, more your standard cock and balls graffiti

@maple the sack race has been postponed because the maplebots are sleepy and napping in the sacks

@maple maplelympics is a bunch of maplebots having a sports day

@sydneyfalk @Jo literal reality

no need to feel too awful about it though, the horse was a cop

literally, was a police horse

@Jo turns out nobody watching fox news when it was available over here was the first action of operation "make trump uncomfortable on his holiday"

@Jo or for one of our finer moments:

@June@kitty.town not really any livestreams, it's sort of a distributed "that guy can fuck right off" rather than any centralised thing

big protests scheduled in london tomorrow though, complete with the trump blimp, will probably be covered on the UK news networks

@Jo I'm pretty sure these are the same people who'd need subtitles on them so probably not

@Anke bloke wrote a message for trump on his lawn which is under the stanstead flightpath in preparation for trump's state visit

https://twitter.com/born_eco/status/1135156909064040449

I'm seeing a lot of takes involving "Oh, I thought Britain was meant to be all about politeness and decorum!" post-stanstead penis and it's never been more clear to me that the vast majority of USAian's knowledge about the UK comes from downton fucking abbey

Reggie just had a good brushy brush and I swear to god there must be a second cat hiding in there with the amount of fluff that came out of him

someone's been very busy with a lawnmower under the stanstead flightpath for trump's visit

https://twitter.com/born_eco/status/1135156909064040449

@lambdagrrl there have been cats that have been conscripted into various armed forces but so far as I can tell none of them bothered with any military-type tasks

@lambdagrrl Brigadier Sir Nils Olav would agree with you

(see, it's not just us being weird, other countries have birds with ranks too)

The ravens at the Tower of London are officially enlisted soldiers in the British Army

One raven got kicked out and sent to Wales for "conduct unbecoming" after attacking and destroying local TV aerials and another went AWOL to a nearby pub

I am not making a word of that up

'e's well safe, innit

@m1st hi mist! nice ta meetcha!