Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

Scooter invented nightcore

I will not be taking questions

escape annoying phone calls by setting your hold music to greensleeves played on an otamatone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxLB70G-tRY

"I'll just look that up for you, I'll put you on hold for a moment"

*MUSIC ADJACENT ELECTRONIC SCREECHING*

"oh, they hung up"

@wigglytuffitout "if you can't read this, clean your glasses"

wait, that wouldn't work...

@noelle there's also the four-l and a dozen other consonants llllgchpwygynyscama which I assume is probably somewhere in wales

@wigglytuffitout there was one with a load of snakes together on a red background with "don't step on us" which I quite liked

@penguin42 I am indeed

the rhubarb dessert thief has been apprehended

they're now in custardy

@Atatra @mavica cereal smuggling, the hot new crime of 2020

this isn't a commentary on re-attributing works to hatsune miku if the original author gets cancelled or anything but imagine if people did that in stalinist russia

just photos of stalin surrounded by hatsune mikus

that's one hell of a mental image

@mavica mavibot works fast!

@mavica you've barely been there five minutes and you're already getting your name on a CVE?!

@evie sounds worth it to me

@evie USE IT AT WORK

elevator pitches are called lifty talkies in the UK

(they're not)

if you're far braver than I and have a spare 3 grand (lol, yeah right, a spare 3 grand) you could possibly make a bit of cash flipping it when the supply inevitably dries up five minutes after it's officially announced

From someone getting their hands on a Tudor price list that goes into effect on the 1st of July in Germany it's been found that there's going to be a new Black Bay 58 released on the 30th with a blue bezel

source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LP-f_2fQwPM

@Nine @plugs the web was a mistake

@Nine the ads

and the gdpr notice

and the cookies thing

and more ads

and the cookies thing again because it keeps forgetting you said yes to that despite cookies being THE VERY THING YOU USE TO KEEP TRACK OF THAT SHIT