Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

Fizziwig didn't like wearing the cone so we made him a little vest to wear so he doesn't lick or scratch his wound

The vet thought it was brilliant

@squirrel and we all love you!

@squirrel YOU BUNNY!

@squirrel HELLO!

*hugs*

Colin Furze has made an Amazon Alexa-controlled flame thing

Yes, IoT combined with gas bursting into flame

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVQ6rwaZ648

I'm not sure which bit of it is the worse idea

@squirrel eh, the famous bit of mastodon can do whatever

I think you're one of the best people here

@Jo @squirrel SQUIRRELS HUGGING SQUIRRELS!

@squirrel ah, right

Not sure why anyone would want to avoid you, people are weird

@squirrel wait, what's this?

@mdhughes@cybre.space why is it you guys always have to bring up the war of colonial ingratitude?

It's like you think you lot shooting at us while we owned your country is somehow special

We owned a third of the planet at one point, a lot of people shot at us

Try to insult us with something original

Like how our judges still wear stupid curly wigs or something

@adeptomega@awoo.space whimsical and fun april fool's jokes I'm all in favour for

But far too many people around (probably that aren't on here to be fair) just make things unusable or break stuff and generally be assholes

@thor it's like your mother in law coming to visit

you can technically say no, but you don't

@thor nowt to do with being a UK citizen or not (people aren't "Subjects" any more (except in some very rare circumstances)), it's a case of "if we invite you to speak here it's technically optional, but you fucking better be dead or dying if you don't"

@devurandom@cybre.space they probably wouldn't jump to that first, but I wouldn't put it past them

I've realised that some non-English-English speakers may be confused by the British reaction to Mark Zuckerberg sending other people in his place after his invitation to speak to the UK Parliament

While "you are invited to Parliament to speak on this subject" may be interpreted as "we'd like you come and talk if it's not too much bother" to some foreign ears, the phrase actually means "COME HERE RIGHT THIS SECOND YOU LITTLE SHIT AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF"

Apparently the latest company to shutter their facebook accounts is Playboy