Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

there's a surfing lake opening in bristol soon (it's a lake with wave generators in it)

first thing to ride a wave there?

a swan

https://twitter.com/CarveMag/status/1185867018295304193

I... jesus fuck

https://old.reddit.com/r/rolex/comments/dlpl9m/i_finally_got_the_call/

Steel sports Rolex watches have incredibly long waiting lists to buy (because Rolex want to maintain their prices and have their watches be "exclusive" and they heavily limit the number they make)

So this guy made his local distributor a full commercial, for free, in the hopes of a chance of buying this from them at full price

This is everything that's wrong with Rolex fans right here

me, 11 minutes ago: WOO! MUTHAFUCKIN TIME TRAVEL YO!

I remember when "square" meant conventional, old-fashioned, and boring

the squarespace ads don't work on me, bring on, like, hipspace or something

I want a like, d95 or something with all the printable ASCII characters on it

(the answer, of course, is not now it isn't)

check to see if your password is secure by putting it in a reply to this toot

reminder that the clocks change tonight for large sections of the world that use daylight savings

my gender is that one that rampages through a town nicking stuff

wait, no, gander, that's a gander

ah, another homestuck for me to be blissfully ignorant of

🦊

🦔

reggie is good cat

also v. warm

keep mastodon weird

someone's just mentioned that kfc dating sim game and I've just realised that no, that was an actual thing that happened and not some bizarre fever dream I had