Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

Why do all the conspiracy nuts talk about "the world being secretly run by lizard people" as a potential bad thing?

All the lizard people I've met 'round these parts have been lovely

Now, this is either someone taking the piss, or nobody bothered to sanity check the names and addresses given to the bots

From a comment the FCC received about net neutrality: "The unprecedented regulatory power the Obama Administration imposed on the internet is smothering innovation, damaging the American economy and obstructing job creation."

The comment is allegedly from a Mr. B. Obama

https://www.fcc.gov/ecfs/filing/1051157755251

Yeah. That one.

"GOD DAMNIT COLONEL, I SAID A MINE FIELD"

LB: It has a track from @squirrel on there!

It's also good aside from that, but mostly worth it for the @squirrel track alone

Because apparently proper tea is theft

MOTORISED BEDS

Motorise all beds

Do whatever you need to do all day without having to ever leave your comfy bed!

Want a service manual for a Rolex? I got it, Valjoux? got it, Seiko? got it

I AM THE KING OF WATCH MANUALS NOW

God I'm a nerd

I came across an open directory of watch servicing manuals

So of course now I have 3.5 GB of watch servicing manuals sitting in my computer

make all squirrels comfy by giving them cookies and little blankets

Just get in touch and I'll send you a mailing address

Donations to go towards outbound shipping would be appreciated

I won't deal with anything illegal in the UK or would leave me to civil liability (so no copyrighted stuff please)

While the UK still has net neutrality, if anyone needs large amounts of data moved to/from the internet but can't due to US ISPs being shitty then I'll do it for you

If you need to upload stuff send me a hard drive with it on and a file saying where to upload it to, I'll send the drive back when it's done

If you need to download stuff send me a hard drive with a file saying what you need and I'll put it on the drive and send it back to you

SCP 4124:

Object Class: Safe

Containment Procedures:
To be held in standard humanoid containment cell

Description:
SCP presents as a human male in all ways apart from its anomalous ability

SCP is to be referred to as @jk

When the SCP enters an excited state it will begin throwing chickens in random directions while yelling "LOOK AT MY CLUCKERS"

It is currently unknown where the chickens come from but data suggests they emerge from a portal the SCP creates to the elemental plane of chickens

My thoughts on encrypting personal data:

If the NSA or GCHQ want my data, I'm gonna mildly inconvenience the fuck outta them

Put on my blue jean shorts
And I boarded the plane
Touched down in the land of the furry sharks
In the middle of the pouring rain
Oh dear gargamel, won't you look down over me
Yeah, I got a first class ticket
But I'm as blue as a boy can be

Then I'm walking in Bemphis
Walking with my paws next door to the eels
Walking in Bemphis
But do I really feel the way I feel?

Hm, we are going dark today

Also, is it slander or libel if it's written down? I think I might have to know that if Roy Moore's lawyer calls