Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

I really need to pick up a set of proper sharpening stones

My knives are dull as heck at the moment and while the Lansky Blade Medic I have works to a degree the results aren't as good as I like

Aw... The Swiss fun police must have sent various nastygrams to H. Moser & Cie.

https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/h-moser-retracts-the-swiss-icons-watch

The year is 20X8, the people of Mastodon have banded together to destroy the sun because it was, quote, "AN ULTRA BASTARD"

Eternal night has fallen, the planets in the (previously) solar system are wandering around orbitless

Otherwise it's pretty much business as usual

Consider: Collab between Game Freak and DC

Would result in a big city with a crime problem being home to Zubatman

Zubatarangs! I choose you!

H. Moser & Cie. are at it again

They're masters at taking the piss and this time it's basically the entire Swiss watch industry that are the target

https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/h-moser-swiss-icons-watch-introducing

This is after them previously taking the piss out of the iWatch ( https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/moser-swiss-alp-watch-s-introducing ) and basically everything ( https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/h-moser-swiss-mad-watch-swiss-cheese-limited-edition-venturer-introducing )

Yes, the case of that second one is made out of cheese

LB: I seriously can't tell if this is a joke or not

Cryptocurrencies are beyond satire

Holy crap

https://melv1n.com/iphone-performance-benchmarks-after-spectre-update/

Up to 50% performance drop on iphones after the spectre security patch

Not content with taking over every other industry, robots are coming for the stripping jobs

https://twitter.com/TaylorLorenz/status/950587082388406272

Basically variations on this are why I shouldn't ever look at what's on aliexpress

If I had the money just about everyone I know would be receiving shipping containers of increasingly strange things

Me: Hello $bank, I'd like a loan of $largeSumOfMoney please

Bank: Why do you want the loan?

Me: I want to send a shipping container full of implausibly large squirrel plushies to a squirrel just to see the inevitably hilarious look on her face when it arrives

Bank: no.

Hm... it's inflatable rather than a plushie but I'm sure it could be filled with polyfill

@squirrel, I think my mission is complete https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/3M-Pvc-Giant-Inflatable-Squirrel-Outside_60551132976.html?

Yes, that's a 3 metre tall inflatable squirrel