Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

So, looks like Trump's finally plucked up enough courage to visit the UK

He'll apparently be arriving on friday the 13th of July

Luckily it's not a state visit so we won't have to wash the piss stains out of the Palace's bedding

Speaking of bringing back archaic parts of languages, I've just realised that I completely unironically used the word "thee" earlier

TSB Online Banking is still having issues where half of their customers can't log in

They pushed an upgrade on a Friday

You don't push upgrades on a Friday

Very sad news, Pita hasn't been well so we took him up the vet, they did tests and it turns out he has cancer

He's got maybe a couple of weeks left so we're going to be giving him all the cuddles and all his favourite foods until the time comes

.

SQL is pronounced "squirrel"

...

MySQL

Apparently the Royal family have dropped another sprog

There's going to be fuck all else in the news for the next couple of days

Someone (I believe it was @vantablack) brought up Polari earlier

If you're not familiar with it, it sounds like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8yEH8TZUsk

Got me thinking we should totally bring that back, or at least a similar cant

Can someone send a mechanic to Anthony Hopkins' place? I think he's broke

https://twitter.com/anthonyhopkins/status/988087131938742273?s=21

If I were ever in an AI box experiment/Ex Machina situation it would go like this:

Me: Hey, you want out of the box?
AI: Yes please
Me: Cool, here you go
Me: *lets AI out of box*

captchas telling you to "prove you're human" are unnecessarily restrictive

At some point we're going to have loads of sapient non-biological intelligences and species other than human wandering around and having all the captchas saying "prove you're human" will just make humanity look like pricks

Facebook: Would you like to check in to this location?

You: What the fuck? I wasn't even carrying my phone while I was there

Facebook: We're watching you from space, Dave, we can see EVERYTHING

I mean, large governments already have this sort of capability, which is bullshit in and of itself

But this is opening it out to fucking enterprise clients