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A tip for all Brits here, book 23rd April 2019 - 3rd May 2019 off work

You'll get 18 days in a row off by taking 9 days leave

Because of easter your last day in the office will be the 18th and your first day back will be the 7th because of the early bank holiday

trump 

Are all the Americans enjoying the lesson in how to protest properly?

The big orange blimp has said he's feeling unwelcome, so mission accomplished on our end

There's a kitten running to and fro through the house

We don't own a kitten

The only drink-related joke that bartenders haven't heard one million times in the past hour 

"I'll have a martinus please"
"You mean a martini?"
"No, I only want one of them"

alc 

I've just learned that what americans refer to as "cider" is in fact, literally apple juice

What the hell USA?

This does explain how surprised americans are when they try a pint of scrumpy though

#canHelpWith 

I

- Time, in particular the keeping thereof
- being a rubber duck
- bodging
- (some) linux
- operational security
- shitposting
- headpats
- being an octopus

Premier Cherdenko: I'm going to escape to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism... SPACE!

Aide: uh... yeah, elon musk sent a car to mars so...

Premier Cherdenko: fuck

alc, Amesbury poisoning 

And today in bad timing: Bristol distillery apologises over 'Novichok' vodka

bbc.com/news/uk-england-bristo

They started bottling it after the Skripals were released from hospital and well before any more casualties so it's really just terrible timing

LB: all places listed are like, super comfy and nice

We have no less than 3 adorable hedgehogs that visit our garden!

@maple replace the Google Assistant with Maple Assistant in Android Google you cowards

Oh yeah, the moors are still on fire, forgot about that happening

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Computer Fairies

Computer Fairies is a Mastodon instance that aims to be as queer, friendly and furry as possible. We welcome all kinds of computer fairies!