Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es
- Pronouns
- They/Them
- Species
- Octopus
- Status
- Wiggly
- Gender
- 418 I'm a teapot
Admin
Hedgehog wrangler, cat feeder, octopus whomst love smol critters
"i never thought someone could be such a watch nerd and yet here you are" ~ @maple
Joined Oct 2017
did you know?
octopuses are very wiggly
Parry Gripp has answered the age old question "If @squirrel was a vegetable, which would she be?"
[CW: epilepsy warning]
OMG Bitcoin is properly below 10,000 now 
Bulgari have a new version of the Serpenti Tubogas in three colour gold
It looks like a snek 🐍
https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/bulgari-serpenti-tubogas-three-gold-introducing
The conversation also included "It's batteries for a <thing>"
"I don't know what a <thing> is, let alone what kind of batteries it's meant to take"
"Hey Sam, have you got any batteries? I need one"
"Yeah, loads, which kind?"
"Round ones"
"Doesn't narrow it down"
"Y'know, round ones"
"WHAT KIND OF BATTERIES DO YOU WANT?"
Turns out it was MN21s which I don't keep a stock of
Are you bored of your old BAN HAMMER?
Want something more flexible but with the same great heft?
Try the new BLOCK CHAIN
Sam the Octopus
boosted
maple classic™ 
@LaserScheme IS ON THE COVER OF THIS MONTH'S NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC AND I'M EXCITED ABOUT IT https://computerfairi.es/media/OwMkhO-Pc6BpO68T-wU
Bitcoin is now below $10,000!
DROP DROP DROP
Sam the Octopus
boosted
Controversial take
The Germans make better wristwatches than the Swiss
It's commonly stated that people only use 10% of their brains at any time
Some rare individuals occasionally use 100% of their brain at once
This is called a seizure, and is generally considered a bad thing
Damnit bitcoin, keep dropping, I want to see you burn
Sam the Octopus
boosted
But I thought Squirrel Appreciation Day was every day??
Sam the Octopus
boosted
In the voice of your fav podcast host
Tired of your old stinky pronouns? With ~pronoun box~ you get a monthly supply of tasty, fresh pronouns delivered straight to your doorstep! Sign up with our offer code FRUCHTBLASE for 20% off your first year.
Sam the Octopus
boosted
Mastodon 2018: Say something stupid and we will meme the shit out of it
Sam the Octopus
boosted
Time for a free service so we don't need to pay money to gender-certification orgs that only recognize two valid forms:
Let's Enby!
Sam the Octopus
boosted
You've heard of COUNTERFEIT PRONOUNS...
Now you can reject the hegemony of fiat gender!
Switch to PRONOUNCOIN, with revolutionary BINARY GENDERCHAIN TECHNOLOGY that will SAVE THE WORLD!
- Pronouns
- They/Them
- Species
- Octopus
- Status
- Wiggly
- Gender
- 418 I'm a teapot
Admin
Hedgehog wrangler, cat feeder, octopus whomst love smol critters
"i never thought someone could be such a watch nerd and yet here you are" ~ @maple
Joined Oct 2017
