Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es
- Pronouns
- They/Them
- Species
- Octopus
- Status
- Wiggly
- Gender
- 418 I'm a teapot
Admin
Hedgehog wrangler, cat feeder, octopus whomst love smol critters
"i never thought someone could be such a watch nerd and yet here you are" ~ @maple
Joined Oct 2017
Sam the Octopus
boosted
Suggestion: when you're building a user database, assign each user a 16-digit hexadecimal number as a unique identifier, disallow that internal identifier from changing, and let everything else change.
Want to change your username? Great. Want to change your email? Fine. The unique hex ID is all that matters.
16 hex digits is enough collision space to give every person on earth about 2.5 /million/ accounts on your system, but short enough that you can write it down on a post-it note.
Sam the Octopus
boosted
food
Seriously, for thirteen quid I expect a pizza the size of my torso at least
food
I have no idea why people get domino's pizza here
Had a flyer through the door, turns out they're charging £12.99 for a small pizza
For context, that's €14.73 or $18.14
For a goddamn small pizza
Sam the Octopus
boosted
maple classic™ 
mastodon, aka fantastic beasts and where to find them
Sam the Octopus
boosted
why can't I cuddle friends over the internet yet
Sam the Octopus
boosted
Hey, since people are starting to draw Moomins again.
my gender is a squamous horror from outside of time and space
my gender is wiggly
my gender is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sam the Octopus
boosted
big soft paws to get the authentic 80s sound i wanted and it gives you a bee????
nicotine
I really need to cut down/quit smoking
For budgetary reasons more than anything else
Unless anyone really wants to send me a couple of cartons a month of course
at most 1 🌶 take
vero is a silly idea
sleepy octopus
Once again HMD have taken a classic Nokia phone and made it worse
https://www.theverge.com/2018/2/25/17044634/nokia-8110-matrix-banana-phone-mwc-2018
Did you know? Octopuses are the pefect shape for being covered with bedsheets and pretending to be a ghost
Are you bored of your normal units of measurement?
Try one of these! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_humorous_units_of_measurement
Currently feeding 8 cats
One of them isn't even ours but he wanders in and is a cute floofy cat so we've just got to feed him
Sam the Octopus
boosted
Once more, with feeling: freedom of speech does not do 240p over composite, only 480i
Sam the Octopus
boosted
vulcan science academy: why do you need another warp core
humans: we’re going to plug two of them together and see if we go twice as fast
vsa: last time we gave you a warp core you threw it into a sun to see if the sun would go twice as fast
humans: hahaha yeah
humans: it did tho
vsa: IT EXPLODED
humans: it exploded twice as fast
http://beka-tiddalik.tumblr.com/post/150425828285/roachpatrol-deadcatwithaflamethrower
- Pronouns
- They/Them
- Species
- Octopus
- Status
- Wiggly
- Gender
- 418 I'm a teapot
Admin
Hedgehog wrangler, cat feeder, octopus whomst love smol critters
"i never thought someone could be such a watch nerd and yet here you are" ~ @maple
Joined Oct 2017
