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This Easter, remember that the calculation for working out what day Easter is on every year is fucking ridiculous

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computus

What's big, green, and always cites their sources? 

The Credible Hulk

An old bit of rope walks into a bar, bartender yells "We don't serve rope here!", rope goes outside, puts himself in a loop, messes up his hair and goes back into the bar, bartender yells "ain't you that rope that just walked in?" 

"Nope, I'm a frayed knot"

April is Autism Awareness Month

This April, remember that autism is a thing, and that Autism Speaks can ram their puzzle piece bullshit right up their collective shitter

Happy atheist-kids-get-chocolate day everyone!

Or "Easter" if you're the religious type

april fools day reveal 

I'M AN OCTOPUS!

Y'ALL THOUGHT I WAS HUMAN! NOBODY SUSPECTED A THING!

@troubleMoney Americans have the same misconceptions about Canadians. They think we are polite and fail to parse the nuances of "sorry"

CAN: Sorry
US: Sorry

CAN: Sorry
US: Excuse me, you bumped into me/spilled my coffee/cut in line

CAN: Sorry
US: I'm about to take the last cookie and I'm not sorry at all

CAN: Sorry
US: MOVE, BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY, GET OUT THE WAY BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY

Considering my previous toot about English-American translations went absolutely woolly, here's some more:

British: "I hear what you say"
American: "You're wrong, shut up"

British: "With the greatest respect..."
American: "You're a fucking idiot"

British: "That's a very brave proposal"
American: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING YOU LUNATIC"

British: "I would suggest..."
American: "You will do this or be sanctioned"

It's the end of the month, which means patreon plugging time!

Since I don't have one and @squirrel is far too modest I'm plugging hers

patreon.com/maple_syrup

Maple is lovely and does various awesome things including running computerfairi.es! Which is also a year old on the 12th!

:thaenkin: if a group of mutual lovers were put in the same stuff as Han Solo was put in in Empire Strikes Back, would that make it polycarbonite?

*glances at current stuff going on out in the fediverse*

nope

*crawls back into octo-cave*

Fizziwig didn't like wearing the cone so we made him a little vest to wear so he doesn't lick or scratch his wound

The vet thought it was brilliant

Colin Furze has made an Amazon Alexa-controlled flame thing

Yes, IoT combined with gas bursting into flame

youtube.com/watch?v=dVQ6rwaZ64

I'm not sure which bit of it is the worse idea

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Computer Fairies

Computer Fairies is a Mastodon instance that aims to be as queer, friendly and furry as possible. We welcome all kinds of computer fairies!