Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es
- Pronouns
- They/Them
- Species
- Octopus
- Status
- Wiggly
- Gender
- 418 I'm a teapot
Admin
Hedgehog wrangler, cat feeder, octopus whomst love smol critters
"i never thought someone could be such a watch nerd and yet here you are" ~ @maple
Joined Oct 2017
Ooh, these are some pretty neat looking watch straps
John Cage - As Slow As Possible (Nightcore Mix)
This Easter, remember that the calculation for working out what day Easter is on every year is fucking ridiculous
What's big, green, and always cites their sources?
The Credible Hulk
An old bit of rope walks into a bar, bartender yells "We don't serve rope here!", rope goes outside, puts himself in a loop, messes up his hair and goes back into the bar, bartender yells "ain't you that rope that just walked in?"
"Nope, I'm a frayed knot"
April is Autism Awareness Month
This April, remember that autism is a thing, and that Autism Speaks can ram their puzzle piece bullshit right up their collective shitter
this easter bunday appreciate your local bun
Happy atheist-kids-get-chocolate day everyone!
Or "Easter" if you're the religious type
Sam the Octopus
boosted
hot kraft singles in your timeline!
Sam the Octopus
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*happy wiggles, whirrs*
april fools day reveal
I'M AN OCTOPUS!
Y'ALL THOUGHT I WAS HUMAN! NOBODY SUSPECTED A THING!
Sam the Octopus
boosted
@troubleMoney Americans have the same misconceptions about Canadians. They think we are polite and fail to parse the nuances of "sorry"
CAN: Sorry
US: Sorry
CAN: Sorry
US: Excuse me, you bumped into me/spilled my coffee/cut in line
CAN: Sorry
US: I'm about to take the last cookie and I'm not sorry at all
CAN: Sorry
US: MOVE, BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY, GET OUT THE WAY BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY
Considering my previous toot about English-American translations went absolutely woolly, here's some more:
British: "I hear what you say"
American: "You're wrong, shut up"
British: "With the greatest respect..."
American: "You're a fucking idiot"
British: "That's a very brave proposal"
American: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING YOU LUNATIC"
British: "I would suggest..."
American: "You will do this or be sanctioned"
It's the end of the month, which means patreon plugging time!
Since I don't have one and @squirrel is far too modest I'm plugging hers
https://www.patreon.com/maple_syrup
Maple is lovely and does various awesome things including running computerfairi.es! Which is also a year old on the 12th!
Sam the Octopus
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maple classic™ 
hug computer
if a group of mutual lovers were put in the same stuff as Han Solo was put in in Empire Strikes Back, would that make it polycarbonite?
Sam the Octopus
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: drunk bun
*glances at current stuff going on out in the fediverse*
nope
*crawls back into octo-cave*
Fizziwig didn't like wearing the cone so we made him a little vest to wear so he doesn't lick or scratch his wound
The vet thought it was brilliant
Colin Furze has made an Amazon Alexa-controlled flame thing
Yes, IoT combined with gas bursting into flame
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVQ6rwaZ648
I'm not sure which bit of it is the worse idea
- Pronouns
- They/Them
- Species
- Octopus
- Status
- Wiggly
- Gender
- 418 I'm a teapot
Admin
Hedgehog wrangler, cat feeder, octopus whomst love smol critters
"i never thought someone could be such a watch nerd and yet here you are" ~ @maple
Joined Oct 2017
