Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

check it out, it's a @squirrel car

HOLY CRAP DEATH RAY O_O

FIRST THE THINKPADS NOW THIS

Mystery solved!
In case anyone is interested: Twitter doesn't allow celebrity avatars anymore and a Brazilian person with 26k followers tweeted "Let's fuck Mastodon up" [paraphrasing here]

Oh yeah we do take fake IDs. We take them, mock every misaligned number in it, and then put it through the shredder we keep under the register specifically for that purpose. Then we offer the kid a soda, cause we ain't heartless.

Sonic the Jedi

everything is better with squirrels

"Trump can take credit for the Korean peace talks the same way a man who interrupts an argument between two neighbors to bite the head off a chicken can take credit for ending their argument."

Whenever a whole gang would storm the bar, we'd just turn on the sprinkler system. Except the sprinkler system has pepper spray in it. All the regulars get complimentary gas masks.

update i am a robot. a constructed being. there's wires inside me. beep.

please buy my new book,

art by the lovely @lucifer
https://computerfairi.es/media/wbf9Qb6C8cTHoFDvT0I

Sugar...
Spice...
And everything nice...

These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girl...

But Professor Mastonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction:

CHEMICAL ROBOT

Thus the Squirrelbunbot was born!

Using her ultra super powers, @squirrel has dedicated her life to defeating video games and the forces of pizza!

ok sam really wants me to plug this but i REALLY don't need the extra money
https://www.patreon.com/maple_syrup

you know who could use it? my girlfriend who's a really good writer and programmer
https://www.patreon.com/noelleanthony