Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@maple damnit maple

I should totally get some art of me octo-wielding banhammers

"'Exotic' bird at Bucks Animal Hospital turns out to be a gull covered in curry"

https://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/news/17741769.exotic-bird-at-bucks-animal-hospital-turns-out-to-be-a-gull-covered-in-curry-or-turmeric/

@Jo ah yes, one of the many things using the "people only use x% of their brains" trope

that's confusing "amount of brain active at any given moment" and "amount of brain that's used for stuff"

although some people do indeed have 100% of their brain active at the same time on occasions

this is called a seizure, and is generally considered a bad thing

@wigglytuffitout hm... depends on positioning but you could add to them for a tic-tac-toe game

smol hedgie! 🦔

@evie strong mom energy is universally recognisable

rotate potate

@Gargron as I said before, only blockchain 'round 'ere is all of us passing 'round their domains so we can suspend their asses

@vantablack would they have given you two weeks notice?

@vantablack "Hi, I need monday off"

"no"

"wasn't a question."

If you're looking at Daniel Wellington or MVMT watches and thinking "oh, could get one of those", don't.

They're overpriced shite

Instead, here are some other options in a similar style but are much better:

Casio LTP-E140: costs about £50 so much cheaper, good reliable watch

Timex Fairfield: £90, very nice looking, can read it in the dark

Tissot Everytime Swissmatic: £310, so more expensive but you get a swiss mechanical movement instead of a basic quartz

@colon_three I always say hello to all the cats

pokemon only say their own names in the same way all of us make toots containing only what animal/machine/other we are

@Alyx "article" on something called oneangrygamer

@revenant shit, I knew I shouldn't have left that clue in the name!

the conspiracy is revealed!