Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@sydneyfalk I imagine the reality worm to resemble one of those worms on a string

but, of course, unbound from the restrictions of the string

It's similar to wassailing where people go around door-to-door offering cups of mulled cider in return for gifts

And I guess trick-or-treating

But so much more metal

This is Mari Lwyd (image cw'ed for skull)

In Welsh tradition, at christmas, Mari Lwyd will come around all the houses in the town with a bunch of mates and sing loudly that they want to enter your house

You are then obliged to sing back with reasons they can't come in and the argument continues until you run out of ideas and it then comes in with its mates and you have to give them ale and food

@colon_three cats are good

whatever the fuck a jellicle is can fuck off

but cats good

@Jo other alternate universe where the muggle PM just sends in the blokes from Hereford and the whole thing's over in 20 minutes

"Wizard Hitler you say?"

*picks up phone*

"Hey, 22 SAS please, can you slot this "voldymort" bastard? Cheers"

@rixx that is incredible

favourite is probably him denying the existence of germany

@colon_three they're such good bird friends

@PixiePrincess sadly it isn't, but it is out there making things safer for people so I'm sure Greta won't be too put out

In the UK we like to name our gritters (vehicles that spread grit on the roads to increase traction in icy conditions, owned and operated by the county council)

Lanarkshire just got Gritter Thunberg

@evie thank god lucas already handed over star wars, this would have given him so many ideas

@Jo @InspectorCaracal easy enough to add, besides, it doesn't have to be that quick, just has to be able to slowly lift it

duct tape a multirotor to your roomba

roomba can now go up stairs

@InspectorCaracal particular shout-out to evangelical christian types who say that atheists are dangerous because "what's stopping them from murdering everyone?!"

If the only thing that's stopping them from committing mass murder is the fear of eternal torture I don't want to be anywhere near them

From Mark Kermode's review of Cats (2019): "the biggest problem with the film is that it shouldn't exist..."

@mavica show those tiny bacterial bastards who's boss!

@mavica gonna have to wrap you in double sided sticky tape and roll you around the room