Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

I just saw, for the first time, some of this... thing called "Mountain Dew" poured into a glass

It's radioactive green with a viscosity that suggests a ridiculous amount of HFCS

WHAT THE FUCK!? PEOPLE DRINK THAT?! THIS IS A JOKE YOU'VE ALL BEEN PLAYING ON US RIGHT!?

@squirrel oh yeah, forgot the miniDV cameras all used firewire

well, *crosses fingers that all that stuff finds itself coming your way*

@squirrel two cameras eh?

*crosses fingers that a video toaster finds itself coming your way*

@squirrel we need to find you a crown

To the tune of DJ Ötzi - Hey Baby:

HEY HEY DONALD!
(Uhh, Ahh)
WE WANNA KNOW
WHY YOU'RE SUCH A CUNT

Goes a bit like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRFTi-driRc

Trump is visiting the UK

Not only is he arriving on a Friday the 13th when there's a solar eclipse, but he's also arriving on the opening night of "The Muppets take over The O2"

I'd contend that a bunch of muppets took over earlier than that, but that's one hell of a confluence of events

@squirrel aaaaaa good clunky noises!

@squirrel 'at's a proper job of a camera right there

@cypnk Friday 13th AND a solar eclipse

of fucking course

@impiaaa@dev.glitch.social I'm sure we'll do our best

@cypnk well, we've been putting up with Boris Johnson for years, one more blond, bad haired, racist prick shouldn't be too hard to handle

So, looks like Trump's finally plucked up enough courage to visit the UK

He'll apparently be arriving on friday the 13th of July

Luckily it's not a state visit so we won't have to wash the piss stains out of the Palace's bedding

@alice@elekk.xyz The EU are bringing in the GDPR, it has wide ranging effects on what information companies can hold on you and what they can use it for

Speaking of bringing back archaic parts of languages, I've just realised that I completely unironically used the word "thee" earlier

@noelle I þink it might be

@squirrel bops

@softgoat go out and get thee a virgin mary

TSB Online Banking is still having issues where half of their customers can't log in

They pushed an upgrade on a Friday

You don't push upgrades on a Friday