Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

@Irina@monsterprom.space he's not even actually a cop

he's a security guard with pretensions

(really, he works as a jail guard)

@Jo if scrotums are so good why isn't there a scrotum 2?

@maple worm in a scarf

warm worm

@evie obviously you should rotate the potates

[spin]potate[/spin]

What's said: proper crop rotation techniques can greatly increase farming yields of Solanum tuberosum

What I hear: rotate the potate

@maple it is a fantastic and useful toot

"hi friens"

Ahead of Trump's state visit to the UK protesters have vowed to make the trip "as unpleasant as possible"

Interestingly "as unpleasant as possible" is also the slogan for the UK Tourist Board

Shameless plug, but if you want more formatting for your toots computerfairi.es supports bbcode!

We've got [b]BOLD[/b]
[i]italics[/i]
[color=orange]colours![/color]
and lots of other stuff!

The only blue lives that matter are those of our agrarian comrades, the smurfs

@Gargron that'd be silly

just give us bbcode and we'll be on our way

@Jo https://socialnetwork.ninja/@jim/101961515621791800

"keeping order in a jail"

okay, maybe "prison officer" is more accurate but he's still a security guard

@Jo bahahahahaha he's not even a real cop!

he's a security guard!

@maple possibly dangerous to any nearby cups of coffee

@maple *ruffles maple cheeks*

oooh, fluff!

I'm really going to have to sort out some file storage in casa octopus at some point

I've already got 4.5 gigs of pictures of hedgehogs and it's not even been a month

@noelle I have actually been argued with when I've said that militaries have "killing people and breaking things" as one of their core job roles

Still don't know what they think all those guns and bombs are for