Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

how would we explain chillies to aliens?

"so this plant, it's evolved to contain a poison that causes great pain so that mammals won't eat them"

"yep"

"and you're putting this in your food"

"yep"

*under breath*"dumbass humans"

@squirrel @shekkiesqueaks *finds the pitch and volume settings for maple*

*makes a little tune with the maple "aaaaaa"s*

@shekkiesqueaks IT'S TRUE! *pets @squirrel a lot*

@squirrel *puts a bed under a sunbeam for you*

@squirrel going to see General Mibi I see

The German Foreign Office are a class act

@squirrel I do too, I can just imagine running a little terminal on there and sshing into things

@squirrel I'm not sure if I should be annoyed by the accusation or annoyed because it's entirely accurate

Soon I shall hopefully be able to use the phrase "it's like riding a bike" without appending "I guess, I dunno"

I'm (a 28-year old goddamn adult) finally learning how to ride a bike

I've got going in a straight line about okay, corners however will need some work

@squirrel TOOT!

@squirrel @squirrel_ebooks morning maples!

@brokenfingers Oh, and ring advice, you'll want to keep the same karat count between the engagement and wedding rings if you're doing gold, so 9k and 9k or 18k and 18k

If one's 9k and the other is 18k then the 9k one will scratch up the 18k one

@brokenfingers Phrases that only make sense on mastodon: "I WANT TO PROPOSE TO MY OTHER EYE"

You go for it you awesome beholder

@Terxbor I have! A totally normal dude doing totally normal things

I very much appreciate today's google doodle

It's an octopus with ice skates!

I wanna see the inevitable picture of Black Panther playing with a massive ball of yarn