Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

Local charity shop occasionally asks me to take a look at laptops that have been donated to make sure they work and if they're actually of a spec that's halfway useful

Got one today that not only has some french dude's personal data all over the drive including work documents and photos but it also tries to autoconnect to his fucking dropbox account the moment it boots into windows

Harry should be bloody glad I'm not more nefarious than I am

@squirrel 10/10 good poem

@squirrel tie-dye gender

@squirrel with none of them counterfeit ones mixed in

@noelle hadn't noticed that bit until you mentioned it

@noelle !

@miramarco@octodon.social on the other hand there would be a whole load of jokes about "select all the squares which contain John Connor"

@gemlog oh yeah, far better built than mammals, the eyes actually connect at the back rather than inside the eyes so no blind spot

@gemlog "screw you guys, you could have slung me over the top instead of me having to squeeze through that gap"

@alice@elekk.xyz if I'm ever that side of the pond I'll let you know

Also my cousins on the beaches over there are friendly too!

Did you know?

Octopus are squidgy and good to hug

@Kat I'd prefer not to

Now, ad companies are well known for taking the piss, but I've never seen them do it this literally before

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2018/jan/10/ikea-invites-customers-to-pee-on-this-ad-to-check-for-pregnancy-and-a-crib-deal

@squirrel @alice@elekk.xyz I meant bloated but that certainly seems like an unintended side effect

*joins you in the lake to make sure you're okay*

@squirrel @alice@elekk.xyz that's a good business plan!

still, you'd probably better not eat anything for 15 minutes while the cookies stop growing

don't want you to feel all boated for the rest of the day

@squirrel @alice@elekk.xyz ... *checks the clock* uh... those are going to keep growing for another ten minutes

Only another 10% though, should be fine

@squirrel @alice@elekk.xyz ...hey maple, y'know those ones aren't quite done yet, I'll get you some I made earlier

*pulls open science oven revealing many large glowing cookies*

@alice@elekk.xyz *looks up from the desk where I'm growing implausibly large glow in the dark cookies* you'd be surprised

@squirrel can do all that without the sweeping as well

good tail care is important

@squirrel afterwards would be a long session of washing your tail and conditioning your tail and brushing your tail so it's all nice and fluffy again!