Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

I am a...
⚪ man
⚪ woman
🔘 octopus

looking for a...
⚪ man
⚪ woman
🔘 cup of tea

"we're onionising the office!"
"...don't you mean unionising?"
*the room slowly fills with onions*
"...shit"

Cross-platform software, only works on annoyed arm chips

I'm hearing stuff about new users again, what did twitter fuck up now?

all tech should be cased in translucent plastic

you can tell all our hedgehogs are well fed by the fact that if it's raining they don't bother coming out to the cafe

is

tiny hedgie is bulking up nicely

hedgie having a good scratch

Talk like a pirate day fact: the stereotypical pirate accent came into being because when doing the film "Treasure Island" Robert Newton decided "eh, let's do it in a westcountry accent"

Yarr me mateys, it be talk like a pirate day

if @blackle@dev.glitch.social had a ducksona would it be a quackle?

requesting stuff to be sent to you by sending someone an envelope containing another envelope you paid postage for and addressed to yourself used to be a thing

we should bring that back

I cleverly avoid cyber-crime by having absolutely no data worth stealing

okay, this is a lot of hedgehog pictures

actually thinking about it this is far more warlock-y

I mean, dusty tomes of forgotten lore? man pages

eldritch abominations that must be placated? social media algorithms

bizarre chanting? SUDO APT UPDATE SUDO APT UPGRADE

Clarke's Third Law states that any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic

I'd argue we've got to that point now and so instead of "person who knows a bit about tech" I am in fact a witch