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strippers Show more

Basically variations on this are why I shouldn't ever look at what's on aliexpress

If I had the money just about everyone I know would be receiving shipping containers of increasingly strange things

Me: Hello $bank, I'd like a loan of $largeSumOfMoney please

Bank: Why do you want the loan?

Me: I want to send a shipping container full of implausibly large squirrel plushies to a squirrel just to see the inevitably hilarious look on her face when it arrives

Bank: no.

Hm... it's inflatable rather than a plushie but I'm sure it could be filled with polyfill

@squirrel, I think my mission is complete

Yes, that's a 3 metre tall inflatable squirrel

And you may find yourself
Behind the controls of a large mech
And you may find yourself in a beautiful space suit
With a beautiful copilot
And you may ask yourself, well
How did I get here?

Damn, I've run out of my fancy nice deodorant

Unfortunately it's $expensive a stick so it might be a while until I get more in

Bloody "whatever's on offer in the supermarket" until then

pol, trump, nuclear annihilation (+) Show more

guitar shop guy: this amplifier is really kinda, mellow, glassy, but it's got a crunchy woody tone too

me: ah thats a shame. im looking more for somethin that sounds like........... a vibrating metal string.... except louder..........................

@squirrel Or it goes to a BBS hosted on a Commodore PET or something

:thaenkin: should go to a page with a big "PET" button

When pressed it should activate a big robotic hand that gently pets the @squirrel

It's 2 months, 24 days until Easter

But it's after Christmas, so of course all the supermarkets are filled with hot cross buns

For clarity those are the spiced, sweet, bread type of buns what are eaten around Easter and not hordes of warm, slightly annoyed @squirrel s

lurghi update Show more

Tired: Mastodon

Wired: Siblinghood of the Traveling Jorts

I could have gone for the world record for shortest ceremony

"Oi, you, you, yer 'itched, 'ave fun"

But nooooooo, apparently Discordianism isn't a "proper" religion

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Computer Fairies

Computer Fairies is a Mastodon instance that aims to be as queer, friendly and furry as possible. We welcome all kinds of computer fairies!

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