Sam the Octopus @troubleMoney@computerfairi.es

how would we explain chillies to aliens?

"so this plant, it's evolved to contain a poison that causes great pain so that mammals won't eat them"

"yep"

"and you're putting this in your food"

"yep"

*under breath*"dumbass humans"

The German Foreign Office are a class act

Soon I shall hopefully be able to use the phrase "it's like riding a bike" without appending "I guess, I dunno"

I'm (a 28-year old goddamn adult) finally learning how to ride a bike

I've got going in a straight line about okay, corners however will need some work

I very much appreciate today's google doodle

It's an octopus with ice skates!

I wanna see the inevitable picture of Black Panther playing with a massive ball of yarn

I should get a hovercraft

They look like fun

blub i'm an octopus

Can anyone explain why Jeff Bezos decided to build a clock that's designed to last 10,000 years?

If society collapses nobody's going to care what time it is and if it doesn't then nobody'll need to walk up a mountain to tell the time

Booking my next holiday to this place https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgDjX6xstCo

Fun fact, the garden Ringo Starr wrote the song about was actually mine

I'm watching a non-biological intelligence talk to a less-smart copy of herself

The future is strange

did you know?

I'M AN OCTOPUS!